Nothing Short of an Atomic Bomb
by Mistress Ivy
Summary: Silent Bob faces a challenge. Thank god nothing wakes Jay up.


Silent Bob yawned and stretched his arms. He and Jay had been watching a marathon of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles since three that afternoon and judging by the street lamp light coming through the dirty living room window, Bob could only assume that at some point he had fallen asleep. He glanced over at Jay, knowing that the blonde must have fallen asleep too, after all, when else was he this quiet? Bob was right of course. Jay had curled himself into a little ball under Bobs coat and his long hair was spread across the arm of the couch where his head lay. Bob got to his feet and gave Jay a little nudge. A few years ago, Bob would have just let him sleep there, but Jay's active, and dangerously stupid, lifestyle had started to catch up to him and the excitable male had started waking up with stiff knees, or a sore back, or a tender neck more and more often. Bob knew that if he stayed all scrunched up on the couch he would be in pain in the morning, so he nudged Jay again, a little harder. There wasn't even a stir and Bob gave a sigh, knowing nothing short of an atomic bomb could wake Jay up when he was that deeply asleep. Bob sat back down on the couch and lit a cigarette while he tried to think of a way to get Jay into bed. As he took the last drag, he struck upon an idea. He could just carry Jay; After all, nothing short of an atomic bomb would wake him up, right?

Bob stubbed out the cigarette and got back up. He managed to get his coat off of Jay and that had been a feat in and of itself. Somehow Jay had managed to tuck the damn thing around himself and into the couch. Now Bob had to tackle the problem of getting Jay into his arms. Bob spent about five minutes before settling on the first and most obvious conclusion; he would have to carry Jay bridal style. He leaned down and got one arm under Jay's knees and then, after a bit of wiggling, his other arm under Jays back. Bob hefted the sleeping man and was glad to see that Jays head naturally fell on his shoulder instead of having all that heavy hair pull his head back as had been Bobs worry. He took a couple experimental steps to make sure Jay didn't bounce too much, then he turned to tackle the hallway towards their bedrooms.

It felt like an eternity to Bob, walking down that hallway. Every step he was worried Jay would wake up and that would lead to some unpleasant insults being hurled his way and Bob was really just too tired for that. At last, he nudged the door to Jay's room open and gently deposited Jay onto his bed and turned to go. He was almost out the door when a tiny groan stopped him in his tracks. He turned around to look and Jay and saw that the man was trying desperately and in vain to pull the quilt over himself. Unfortunately, it was the same quilt trapped under his body. Bob rolled his eyes and went to his own room, pulled the quilt off his bed and was back again before one could have taken a bong hit. He draped the thick blanket over Jays form and the man settled against it immediately, sighing in comfort. This time Bob didn't immediately head for the door. He was caught by the sight of Jays hair tangled under him. Bob reached out slowly, indulging an urge he'd had ever since Jay had started growing his hair back out. As his fingers touched the silken hair, Bob was so very thankful that nothing short of an atomic bomb could wake Jay up, and he repeated that in a silent mantra as he gently combed his fingers through the long hair. It was almost hypnotic to watch the golden strands slide between his fingers. Bob wasn't surer how long he knelt there, but he realized that he had combed out damn near, if not all, of Jays hair.

Bob knew he should go, he knew it and he wanted so bad to obey that knowledge, but a much bigger part of him had a different urge and before he had tie to really think about what he was doing, he was leaning forward, closer and closer to that cascade of gold. Soon, all too soon, Bob was inhaling the smell of Jays' hair, and what a strange combination of smells it was; clean as if Jay had just showered, rich with tobacco and marijuana smoke, and even sweetly of jasmine. Bob could feel the tickle of the hair against his lips as he trailed along the path of hair, his eyes closed right up until he felt the skin of Jays' cheek against his own. Bobs eyes popped open and he was shocked to realize that at some point he'd climbed onto the bed. He turned his head and was relieved to see Jay still sleeping quiet peacefully and Bob laid his cheek back against Jays. One might have even said Bob was nuzzling against Jay, but only a smartass like Randal would have had the guts to say so.

Jay murmured in his sleep and Bob watched his lips move just that little bit and again he was struck by a desire. He desperately wanted to kiss Jay, to feel those soft lips against his. Bob hesitated for a moment and then dared himself to place a kiss on Jays jaw, but of course it didn't stop there. He trailed those light little kisses up his jaw line, over the swell of his cheekbones, the curve of his eyelids, and the softness of his eyebrows. Bob stopped to look at Jay, to see if there was even the slightest flutter to his eyes, which there wasn't. 'Well,' Bob thought, 'the man really can't be woken up by anything short of an atomic bomb.' And he pressed his lips to Jays. It lasted barely a second before Bob pulled back. Jay hadn't even shifted, so Bob swept down again, really savouring it this time and he even decided to push his luck, opening Jays mouth with his and brushing the his tongue against Jays. It took him completely by surprise to feel Jays tongue move back against his, and he would have pulled back in shock if Jays hand hadn't reached up and pressed against his neck, holding him there. Jay took his time before letting go of Bob and smiling up at him.

"'Bout damn time you made your move bitch. Fuck, for a minute there I thought yous' was really gonna leave."

Bob cocked an eyebrow at Jay, not that it shut him up.

"And startin' tomorrow, we're moving all your shit in here, yo. From now on your tubby ass sleeps in here. Fuck, if I wasn't so tired, I'd nail you right now. Gotta make sure I do that tomorrow, Snooch."

Bob stared at Jay in amazement before resting his head against the other man and shaking his head, not that he was going to argue. Bob feel sleep tugging on his consciousness, but one last thing was playing on his mind. Jay sighed, feeling Bobs thoughts as he always did.

"You wanna know how I woke up, don't you?"

Bob nodded, and murmured quietly, "Atomic bomb."

"Yeah, I know that's about all that'll usually get me up." Jay laughed.

"Then why?" Bob pressed.

Jay pulled bob a little tighter against him. "Something's are just important enough to wake up for."


End file.
